We each have these critical moments that we reach in our lives. Sometimes, for some, it happens sometime sooner than later. For others...it takes years on years to reach that place. But we all reach that place. We all come to a point where we all truly know, deep inside the midst of our hearts, that things must change. This want for change is like nothing you've experienced before. There is a different form of energy to it. There is a different feeling to it altogether.
You must do the scariest thing there is - face your greatest nightmare...yourself.
My moment came in late 2011 and it wasn't by choice. I can remember standing in that flat, hearing words that I wouldn't forget, and literally watching myself from above crumble. I modified everything about myself in that minute. I compromised. I did everything I could. In the end, I'll always remember that deep burning feeling of turning to ashes. It really wasn't just the instant that did it, no, that was just the match. It was actually the entire mounting up of dry leaves and hay from many years of neglect...and that little match was everything in took to spark something that would redefine me from that moment on.
That was only the beginning of everything, seven days later, it reached its low point. Positively rock bottom. I made a request to the heavens in that completely black dark room, it fortunately wasn't granted, and I awakened the day after gazing at a crumbled landscape...with the knowledge that I could take the time to reconstruct my entire world the way in which I wanted it.
But I would face myself.
Just as significantly, I would have to burn everything down that I ever supported myself with. I would have to learn the way to support myself for once, to not blame everything on everyone else, to be responsible for my whole life, and to eventually let everything that was locked up and caged in me out. It had to all come out.
You see, when you build walls to keep things out, you also build walls to keep the superb things in you from ever reaching any person out there looking to love you. Love was walled in...hurt was walled out. Discomfort was kept away from me...joy remained covered under the dust. I ran from fear...so my certainty and grounding ran from my life like the plague. I had to tear everything down. I had to tear my ego down. I had to tear down my projections. I had to rip apart everything and start over completely.
I did just that. I started writing. I started being fair about what was going on with me. I built everything back, stone by stone on a different foundation. My strong back and my heart would be the dense iron place from which I'd create.
What I realized on the way was this - those places you are scared to go, here's where your nightmare lives. It crawls around in that space. It's this thick dark seeping type of agony which will frighten you to death. It scares you because you think that if you go there you'll get caught in it and drown. The truth of the matter is, that's where your strength is. There's unimaginable amounts of strength in going there. Just as there really is strength in great and deep faith and light, there's equal massive amounts of strength in going to that place that ravishes your heart with fear...and yet when you go through those places you develop this sort of belief in yourself that truly is beyond confidence. It's the kind of feeling that you know that everything around you could eventually be destroyed, and you absolutely could build it all back no matter the situation.
Power.
Actual power.
"Take from me everything world, and I am going to come back and build it back better...and irrespective of how you challenge me...I may continue to shine. "
Face your worst nightmare. Face your fears. Don't be afraid to let everything go for the opportunity to build it back better. Desire love in your life? You're going to have to let go of everything on the opposite end that's hindering you. You really are going to have to dive deep down into the pit of your soul, lantern in hand, without the conquering sword. No shields. No weapon. No effort to rise above it.
You must go in naked and exposed.
You can come out. You may cry, suffer, and hurt...but you'll come out. I truly would never tell you to go anywhere that you could not come out of. I promise you, this is the one place you must go for everything to release. To build something new, to begin living the grandest adventure you could ever live...you have to go here. The shadows. The depths. The darkness.
I can tell you...this place, is where life starts.
You must do the scariest thing there is - face your greatest nightmare...yourself.
My moment came in late 2011 and it wasn't by choice. I can remember standing in that flat, hearing words that I wouldn't forget, and literally watching myself from above crumble. I modified everything about myself in that minute. I compromised. I did everything I could. In the end, I'll always remember that deep burning feeling of turning to ashes. It really wasn't just the instant that did it, no, that was just the match. It was actually the entire mounting up of dry leaves and hay from many years of neglect...and that little match was everything in took to spark something that would redefine me from that moment on.
That was only the beginning of everything, seven days later, it reached its low point. Positively rock bottom. I made a request to the heavens in that completely black dark room, it fortunately wasn't granted, and I awakened the day after gazing at a crumbled landscape...with the knowledge that I could take the time to reconstruct my entire world the way in which I wanted it.
But I would face myself.
Just as significantly, I would have to burn everything down that I ever supported myself with. I would have to learn the way to support myself for once, to not blame everything on everyone else, to be responsible for my whole life, and to eventually let everything that was locked up and caged in me out. It had to all come out.
You see, when you build walls to keep things out, you also build walls to keep the superb things in you from ever reaching any person out there looking to love you. Love was walled in...hurt was walled out. Discomfort was kept away from me...joy remained covered under the dust. I ran from fear...so my certainty and grounding ran from my life like the plague. I had to tear everything down. I had to tear my ego down. I had to tear down my projections. I had to rip apart everything and start over completely.
I did just that. I started writing. I started being fair about what was going on with me. I built everything back, stone by stone on a different foundation. My strong back and my heart would be the dense iron place from which I'd create.
What I realized on the way was this - those places you are scared to go, here's where your nightmare lives. It crawls around in that space. It's this thick dark seeping type of agony which will frighten you to death. It scares you because you think that if you go there you'll get caught in it and drown. The truth of the matter is, that's where your strength is. There's unimaginable amounts of strength in going there. Just as there really is strength in great and deep faith and light, there's equal massive amounts of strength in going to that place that ravishes your heart with fear...and yet when you go through those places you develop this sort of belief in yourself that truly is beyond confidence. It's the kind of feeling that you know that everything around you could eventually be destroyed, and you absolutely could build it all back no matter the situation.
Power.
Actual power.
"Take from me everything world, and I am going to come back and build it back better...and irrespective of how you challenge me...I may continue to shine. "
Face your worst nightmare. Face your fears. Don't be afraid to let everything go for the opportunity to build it back better. Desire love in your life? You're going to have to let go of everything on the opposite end that's hindering you. You really are going to have to dive deep down into the pit of your soul, lantern in hand, without the conquering sword. No shields. No weapon. No effort to rise above it.
You must go in naked and exposed.
You can come out. You may cry, suffer, and hurt...but you'll come out. I truly would never tell you to go anywhere that you could not come out of. I promise you, this is the one place you must go for everything to release. To build something new, to begin living the grandest adventure you could ever live...you have to go here. The shadows. The depths. The darkness.
I can tell you...this place, is where life starts.
About the Author:
Evan Sanders is the author of The Words Of Encouragement, a website dedicated to bringing the best quotes, motivational content on the web, and blogs all to one place. Need some more motivation and encouragement to keep moving forward? Dig into these life is too short quotes for a little bit of perspective on why you should drag yourself out of the darkness.
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